


You're Still You

by corgasbord



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff, Trans Character, could be interpreted as platonic or not, just good old fashioned love and support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 06:37:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10551736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corgasbord/pseuds/corgasbord
Summary: Shuuichi has something he's been meaning to get off his chest. Given how long he's been friends with Kaede, it's only natural that she would be the first person he turns to.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i'm positive that i'm not the first person to do something like this, and since it's mostly a self-indulgent feel-good thing i considered not posting it, but. trans shuuichi is very important to me and i want to spread some love for that headcanon (and also love for shuuichi in general because he deserves all the happiness in the world)
> 
> i also like the idea of shuuichi and kaede being best friends, and haven't written anything involving them together yet, so. here's this.
> 
> ([tumblr](http://corgiboard.tumblr.com/post/159247442545/youre-still-you) link)

For some reason, it’s always harder to confess something after preceding it with, “I have something important to tell you.”

That’s Shuuichi’s current dilemma. He’s seated on the roof of the school building next to his best friend, Kaede Akamatsu, having invited her up here for the express purpose of sharing a sensitive piece of information about himself. 

Actually conveying this information is a task easier said than done, though.

After letting the silence hang over them for a several moments, Kaede speaks up. “So, Saihara-kun, what was it you wanted to tell me?” she asks, head tilted and patient purple eyes fixed on him.

He doesn’t know why, but her gaze makes him shift uncomfortably. Finding that he can’t bring himself to meet it, he keeps his own eyes trained on his lap, watching his already pale knuckles grow whiter still from how tightly his fingers are curled in the fabric of his pants.

For a second, he’s reminded what an undertaking it was just convincing the school’s administration to let him wear pants in the first place.

Taking a shaky breath through his nose, he forces himself to focus on the matter at hand. Then, almost on instinct, he apologizes, “Sorry. It’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while, but… now that we’re here, I’m not really sure how to say it.”

Of course, he had spent a considerable amount of time beforehand thinking of what to say, and how he might explain it further if she didn’t understand, but it seems now that it was all for naught. His nerves have thrown all of his carefully planned responses to every feasible scenario right out the window.

Apparently sensing his anxiety, Kaede scoots a bit closer to nudge his shoulder with hers. “Don’t worry about it too much, Saihara-kun. You know you can tell me anything,” Kaede assures him warmly. When he doesn’t respond, she continues, her tone affectionately teasing, “Did you bring me up here to confess your love to me, or something?”

It’s a joke, or at least half of one, and Shuuichi knows that, but he doesn’t laugh. Instead, he flinches away slightly, cheeks pink with a mixture of heightened frustration and embarrassment. “... That isn’t funny, Akamatsu-san.”

Realizing her mistake, Kaede is quick to deliver an apology. “Ah- sorry. I was trying to lighten the mood, but… I guess that was pretty tasteless of me, huh?”

Shuuichi still doesn’t say anything, but his unspoken agreement is evident in the way he purses his lips.

“I’m sorry. Really,” Kaede reiterates sincerely. Then, in an attempt to amend the situation, she places a tentative hand on his forearm and adds, “I get it now. This is serious. So… whatever it is you need to tell me, just take your time. I’ll listen.”

Shuuichi nods and tries to swallow the lump in his throat, which is making it difficult to get any words out at all. He does his damnedest to push any potential worse-case scenarios back into his subconscious and remind himself of the kind of person Kaede is. Kaede is the first person he told about his bisexuality, and her reaction to that had been to laugh giddily and exclaim, “Me, too!” Kaede is compassionate, accepting even of things she doesn’t fully understand, and more importantly, she’s his best friend. If he can trust anyone to respect him, to take him as he is, it’s her.

With that in mind, he inhales deeply and summons his remaining courage, glancing around the roof one more time to make absolutely sure that they’re alone. Then, doing his best to steady the faint tremor creeping into his tone, he finally speaks up again. “I’m… I’m trans. A transgender boy.” 

It gets so quiet that he’s certain he would be able to hear a pin drop, were it not for the rapid pounding of his pulse in his ears. His words remain suspended in the ensuing period of silence, and as he allows them to settle, he doesn’t risk looking over to see Kaede’s expression, too afraid of what might be written on her face. He imagines only the worst - confusion, shock, anger, _repulsion_ \- and with each passing second, he feels his chest grow tighter, making it difficult to breathe.

He doesn’t realize that his hands are trembling until Kaede places one of her own over his, prompting him to finally look up in surprise. Contrary to the outcomes his brain had conjured, she doesn’t look upset or disgusted or even bewildered. In fact, she’s _smiling_ , regarding him with a kindness that he had hardly dared to wish for.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she says reassuringly, probably able to sense his increasingly clear distress. “I’m glad you were able to trust me enough to tell me.”

Shuuichi blinks at her, stunned by how easily she accepted that. He had expected questions, at least, posed out of ignorance toward the topic. Hell, even as much as he had wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, he had only opened this conversation after bracing himself for the worst. His few yet fraught experiences with coming out in the past resulted in rejection nearly every single time, making him reasonably reluctant to do so. To have her take it so smoothly, so free of protest, feels almost anticlimactic, given how much he’d been stressing over it.

He’s glad that she’s the one to pipe up again a few seconds later, saving him the trouble of figuring out how to reply to something like that. “Does anyone else know?”

That’s a question he’s able to answer immediately. “No. I mean, unless you count my uncle, but… I haven’t told anyone here.”

“Ah.” Kaede nods empathetically. “Well, I’ll be sure to keep it our little secret, then.”

That’s when the relief hits him at last, and he gives her a grateful, wavering smile. “Thank you, Akamatsu-san. I- I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

“There’s no need to thank me. I’m just being a decent human being, aren’t I?” she says, giving his hand a squeeze. “Besides… I care about you, Saihara-kun. A lot. And I want to be here for you in any way I can. You know that, right?”

Feeling too much at once to manage a verbal response, Shuuichi simply nods and exhales shakily, drawing his index finger beneath one eyelid to collect the moisture beginning to form there.

Noticing that, Kaede’s features soften further. “Oh, come here, you.” She turns her body in order to better face him with open arms, inviting him in for a hug.

So after a moment's hesitation, Shuuichi leans in to take it, albeit somewhat awkwardly. Kaede doesn't seem to mind that, though, bringing a hand up to pat his back comfortingly. 

He isn’t entirely certain why he’s getting emotional over this. Kaede is right - what she’s doing isn’t revolutionary, it’s obligatory. He knows this, but still finds himself sniffing a bit and blinking back tears.

Maybe it’s because she’s the second person to ever grant him the courtesy that not even his parents did after he told them that he didn’t like the name they gave him, or the clothes they bought him, or the expectations they had for him. Maybe it’s because he can worry a little less about losing all of his friends now. Or maybe it’s just because of how liberating it feels to have told _someone_ with no repercussions.

“At some point,” he mumbles, throat still tight, “I do want to be able to tell our other friends. I just feel like they should know.” Because all he really wants is to be able to _exist_ without having to hide, or being treated any differently.

“Well, I'll be right there to back you up whenever you do.” she says, pulling away from him to flash him another smile. 

He doesn’t know yet when that time will come, but he believes her, and a sliver of confidence begins to emerge with that faith. Compelled to express his gratitude again even though she’s deemed it unnecessary, he returns her smile and says, “Thank you, Akamatsu-san. I really appreciate it.”

At the very least, this is a step forward.


End file.
